Desperately Seeking Relevance

Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) was about a woman named Susan (i.e., Madonna) who was longing for a life that seemed more exciting and meaningful than her own. I can't recommend a movie I never saw, but I always thought the title was a good one. In my research I saw no one who described this movie as "deep," but I did see where Siskel and Ebert gave it one thumbs up and one thumbs down, if that rings a bell.

For some reason, the movie title stuck with me all these years. Susan was apparently a woman longing for a life that seemed more exciting and meaningful than her own. I've not come across anyone who would describe this movie as "deep," but the title speaks to something far deeper: the human hunger for significance, what I've come to call desperately seeking relevance.

If we're being fully honest, most of us work toward some degree of this time to time. We should all want our lives to matter. What can lead us to some futile and meaningless searches, though, depends on where we go to find it—often, in all the wrong places.

For many of us, relevance is tied to achievement — titles, promotions, accomplishments that look great on a résumé. For others, it can be more about popularity or recognition — believing that if enough people notice us, we will matter. Still others of us will chase it in wealth or possessions, measuring our worth in terms of square footage or 401K accounts. Maybe we'll even seek it in busyness — as though being constantly needed is the same thing as being truly significant. And in today's digital world, we can add social media attention to the list. An additional hundred likes may feel like meaning at the time, but the effects fade fast.

The problem isn't the desire itself. God wired us with a longing for significance. But the world only offers us counterfeits. Is it possible we're confusing recognition with actual relevance? I'm continuing to better understand that they're two very different things.

Jesus gave us a better definition. In John 15:16, He says:

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last."

Hopefully, we will each live long enough to understand that the only true relevance is one with a spiritual core. And it's not achieved but rather received. It comes not from making ourselves noticed but from being chosen by God to live a life of fruitfulness. Any applause from the crowd is simply window dressing. But bearing fruit that endures beyond us — in character, in love, in service, in helping others grow closer to Christ—that's what truly makes us relevant.

Think of the individuals who made the deepest impact on your life. I'd wager that most of them weren't famous. They may not have had titles, money, or followers. But their lives bore fruit — kindness, faithfulness, love — and you're different because of them. I can point to several such individuals in my life. Lyn Abercrombie, Jim Brown, Rex Enoch, John Prevost, and Rosemary Wilson, were each relevant for me, along with so many others. The fact I'm still grateful all these years later for the lasting impact they had on me—that's relevance.

That's the kind of relevance that lasts.