Too Much Bread

In Peter Jackson's movie of Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring, an aging Bilbo Baggins describes himself as feeling "thin, like butter scraped over too much bread." His line fits with what I hear routinely from too many others these days—tired, stretched, and working hard just to hold things together. Life keeps adding slices of bread, but we still have our same daily stick of butter. Be it work, family responsibilities, the challenges that can accompany aging, or simply the dizzying pace of things around us, the result is the same, and we can grow weary.

Overextension rarely happens all at once. For many of us it's like a treadmill program that's slowly speeding up over time. We say yes way too often, and our obligations gradually exceed our capacities. And with age, this stretching can feel even more pronounced—energy takes longer to replenish, yet our speeds continue to accelerate.

We all know the saying, "time is money." Maybe not a perfect comparison, but technically, time is another form of currency. We don't all have the same amount of money, but each of us is given twenty-four hours every day to spend as we choose. And unlike money, time can't be saved, borrowed, or stockpiled. It can only be spent.

There were times many years ago when I wore my busyness as a professional fashion statement. Look at how busy and necessary I am! I have so much to do which means I must be doing a good job and so important to everyone else. So very, very important.

At one point I bragged in an interview that if I was doing my dean's job right, I should be "spent" after five years, and it would be time to move on and re-fuel for the next assignment. A business career was meant to be a sequenced series of sprints. I viewed weariness as an indicator that I'd given all I'd had to give and had done things the right way. I remember looking at a colleague who had been in a parallel position for twenty years and silently wondered if he was really working hard enough. He didn't seem weary at all.

Jack Butler (Michael Keaton) comes to mind here from Mr. Mom. As his little daughter admonishes him upon entering the wrong way into the school drop-off line, she says, "You're doing it wrong!" The other moms honk their disapproval because they know better.

So, in hindsight I'm now thinking there was a part of me that was doing it wrong. Maybe the reason some of my colleagues were still able to function and I was spent at times was because they had figured a better way to sort their butter and bread?

I now see several ways my younger self could have handled things differently (i.e., working smarter, not harder):

· Choose mostly the commitments that align with your personal MVV (mission, vision and values). What's your overall purpose in life, where do you want to end up, and what are the personal values most important to you that will guide your choices along the way? Once you answer these questions, you'll see far more clearly which bread slices align with who you are and which ones don't really fit.

· You've heard of a sacred cow? What about a sacred "no"? Salespeople are trained how to do this, but at times, the right "no," (and it can be done tactfully), is an avenue for a subsequent "yes" to those better things that more closely align with your personal MVV. It's OK to say "no" to the wrong things.

· Schedule regular times for pruning. Personal calendars can be a powerful tool for keeping us organized on our day-to-day schedules. They can also be used as an analytical tool for looking back at how we spent our time last month. Looking backwards, are you able to see more clearly those tasks and time slots that didn't further your MVV plans? Sometimes it's easier to evaluate those times once we remember what actually happened (or didn't) during those past appointments.

· Attempt to focus on the things only you can do. I highly recommend The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey (Burrows, Blanchard, and Oncken). This quick read teaches us how to avoid taking on problems best handled by others. My leadership team used to keep a plastic banana on each of our desks as a reminder of this principle to help us eliminate bottlenecks by not taking on problems that others were perfectly capable of solving themselves.

· And remember, if you're doing it right, it's not a sprint. I don't like the tortoise or the hare story here, because both would be beaten in a longer race by the camel. Camels know how to pace themselves, and they time their rests strategically to extend their endurance. Your butter is better when you set aside regular times to recharge and renew yourself.

There's so much more to all of this, but that's a good short list to begin. One of my wife's favorite sayings when cooking keto is, "Don't blame the butter for what the bread did." Maybe it's time more of us began looking at our bread and our butter to maximize how we spend our time and energy.

The good news is that life doesn't have to feel this thin. We weren't meant to live stretched to the edges of every day. With some intention and honest evaluation, we can do better.

New Year's approaches. How about that personal MVV for 2026?